I have one week left here in South Africa. My mood has been swinging like a pendulum, so sometimes I'm really excited to be here, and in the next instant I'm ready to be home.
Part of me really wants to turn off my facebook for awhile, make myself do something other than constantly check status updates. Its like I'm a little emotionally masochistic. I need to stop caring what's going on in other people's lives, stop caring what they're saying, and just focus on what I need to do to get by. But feeling pain feels better than feeling empty. It makes me feel like a have a heart, albeit in pieces.
This morning was fantastic. I did a lot of work on Margaret Archer, read through a really difficult article on emergence, and talked to Emily for over an hour. Now? I'm sipping tea, trying to get myself focused on Edward Said or Carl Polanyi and instead all I can think about is how my knee has been twitching since last night. I feel like I'm caught in purgetory. I can't leave South Africa yet, and get on with my life. So I'm stuck here waiting. For what? I guess to leave. Thinking maybe things will get better when I get home. I know the food will make me feel better. I sort of want to turn Thanksgiving into a mexican fiesta. When I told that to Katie and Emily they just laughed at me, but they don't understand my fierce love of enchiladas. I really, really need good Mexican food. And maybe a margarita. And Captain Ron or some other stupid, old comedy.
I'm going to go face the dreaded social theory. Wish me luck.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Luck :)
ReplyDeleteI've really enjoyed reading your blog and hearing your life in SA too. It was actually very comforting to know someone else was out there, doing the same thing I was. It was especially reassuring when you were there and I was still at home (thanks for taking the first leap :-P).
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I'm actually not coming home until February when my program is over. Michelle is coming down for December and we're adventuring off to Macchu Picho juntas. It'll be crazy.
BUT I will be in Portland and thus Willamette the second week in March for a few days in between LA and Tacoma adventures. So I fully expect us to get together, and I may or may not crash on your floor, if that's ok (not sure who I'm exactly crashing with yet, I'll figure it out later).
Sending you lots of love from Quito my girl :)
girl if you come to my house you're crashing on my ridiculously comfortable couch. And that's a fact.
ReplyDelete