One Month, One Week

I have one month and one week left in South Africa. One month and one week from this moment I will be packing some belongings, giving away others, and preparing to go home. I have mixed feelings about this.

I feel like I will be in the home stretch in a week. It is like I will finally know I can make it; that time won't just suddenly stop and I won't be stranded in an endless South Africanness forever. (Not that I think that would be a terrible problem, either. If I knew I had to I could probably assimilate nicely into this country.)

On the other side of things: I regret that I am looking forward to this landmark so much. I want to feel more remorse about leaving; I want to feel like so much has been left unexplored. To some extent I do feel that way; but I think my total lack of money keeps me from being too romantic in my desires to go frolic off into the sunset exploring this (very dangerous) country at my every whim.

I wrote down all my assignments and engagements on my wall calendar to remind me that it won't be empty afternoon after empty afternoon waiting to go home. I have a concert, and three essays, two seminars and a hall dinner; and an election, dinner and braai for choir as well. My nights are well booked, for the most part. Looking at my calendar I have 7 weeknights that are free in the next three weeks. That makes me feel better. When I was at Willamette I would look at my planner and a part of me would die because I had something going on every single weekend and most weeknights, too. Now I realize that I would much rather have too much going on than too little. I used to push myself for a few weeks, get totally stressed out, sleep for a day, then start over again. It probably isn't healthy, but then again neither is lying on my bed watching endless episodes of How I Met Your Mother and eating vanilla fudge. As totally awesome as that sounds.

On the bright side: I have felt that sense of innitiative I have been missing this whole time. I am 770 words into a 2500 word essay that isn't due until the 23rd. If I get to 830 words or so I'll be 1/3 of the way done, with almost two weeks to spare. Tonight I am going to do some readings on another paper due on the 26th. I want to get the first one done by a week from today, and have the second one done sometime around the 21st. I know that's high expectations, but it would be nice to be lazy because I am organized; not because I am apathetic.

With that in mind, I am going to go write a little more. Wish me luck!